Becky L. Carr

Becky Lynn Carr never complained. She never asked “why me” when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 67. She never felt sorry for herself when she’d return from chemo infusions, feeling sick and weak. Instead, she’d grab a spade and head to her garden. She spoke softly, in a way that brimmed with love and felt like a hug. She comforted all of us even as she suffered. She made us laugh even as we worried for her. Becky had this way of stomping her feet, raising her pitch and singing “Animal Crackers in my Soup” like Shirley Temple that would make you forget the baggage you brought with you that day. She danced anywhere she heard a song that moved her. Anything by the Beatles, Cher, Beegees and Michael Jackson were musts. And you couldn’t help but dance with her. Her joy was infectious. Becky survived pancreatic cancer for more than four years, despite being given only a few months on her initial diagnosis. None of us know how she did it, not even her doctors. But she did it with grace. Becky passed away February 14, 2021. Her husband Dave, daughters Melanie and Alison, son Todd and his wife Leigh, parents Tom and Charlotte, grandson Griffin, son-in-law John, niece Caitlin and brother-in-law Eric by her side. She lived her life with passion for others and a fierce love for her family and friends. Becky was born October 1, 1948 in Lima, Ohio. Gorgeous, caring, smart and funny, all the guys at Lima Senior vied for her attention. Her sister Susan would later tell stories about having to leave school early to avoid the swarm of boys when the bell rang. Dave Carr was the lucky one. He was in civics class when he first saw her walk by outside in a greenish-brown suede skirt and a tan sweater. Her straight dark brown hair reached past her shoulders. He was a junior. She was a sophomore. Dave turned to his friend and said he was going to marry that girl. Dave was persistent and ultimately they fell in love. She graduated high school in 1967 and the couple moved to Columbus, where she became a Buckeye. They married in 1970 and she graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Elementary Education the next year. Becky then taught at Holland Elementary in the Toledo area for 33 years. She adored her students and they loved her just the same. She impacted hundreds of lives in the classroom, evidenced by any trip you might make to the grocery store with her. You’d hear “Mrs. Carr!” and then a flood of stories about how much they loved fourth grade -- because of her. None of this ever went to her head. Becky was always working on herself. While managing her regular teaching schedule, she got a Masters Degree in education from Heidelberg University in 2013. Becky doted on her children, her niece, her sister, her parents and her grandchildren, both human and canine (Suka, Yukon, Boonedog and Bella). She’d spend hours helping her Grandson Griffin with homework and made sure to catch as many of his hockey games as she could. She hosted get-togethers for any occasion. They’d tell stories, play silly games and eat good food -- her Mississippi Mud was the best -- until the early hours of the morning. It wasn’t Christmas until she handed you a glass of “Christmas Crack:” Great Lakes Christmas Ale she dressed up with a cinnamon sugar rim. Her faith was unwavering. A member of Cedar Creek Church in Perrysburg for 20 years, she volunteered to welcome newcomers and went to Honduras twice to build houses with fellow parishioners. She learned that she was pretty good at installing fencing. Though constantly serving others, she made time for fun: traveling, boating, snow skiing and laughing. She’s been known to visit Alison and her husband Brian in the mountains of North Carolina, stay up late and belt out the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody. She also loved going to concerts. On two occasions she even got to hang backstage with Cher, who stayed in touch and would send her video messages. Many used the word “inspirational” to describe Becky. Her friends Deitra Hickey and Tom Martin wrote a book about her called “Fearless,” detailing her positive attitude in the face of adversity. Becky kept up that positive attitude even in the last year of her life, and even after her beloved sister Susan died suddenly at age 66. It would have been so easy to fall into despair. But Becky held the family together like she always did and took her niece Caitlin under her wing by way of late night phone calls and listening to her carry on about work and boys. Just before the pandemic hit, Becky and her daughter Alison took a trip to Arizona to visit Caitlin. More than three years of cancer and neuropathy in her feet did not stop Becky from hiking four miles up a mountain in Sedona. “Today is 183 weeks since diagnosis and I hiked in Sedona. Always hope!!” She posted on Facebook. “Thank you God for giving me today.” They celebrated with Becky’s favorite: margaritas. Becky had many wonderful oncology nurses at the Hickman Cancer Center at Flower Hospital and a devoted Cleveland Clinic doctor, Dr. Michael McNamara. We thank them for their determination and care. Becky’s family will hold a private memorial service in the chapel at Cedar Creek Church in Perrysburg and will announce a Celebration of Life Service later this year, pandemic allowing. In lieu of flowers, we ask you to consider making a donation in her name to the Pancreatic Action Network or to Ruthie’s Angels, which provided support to Becky for many years.